Caring for a loved one, friend or relative with cancer can be very draining both physically and emotionally. Of course there is the time involved in taking care of someone, which is extremely demanding physically and on top of this you will need to deal with your emotions, which can be incredibly exhausting.
The responsibility of taking care of a cancer patient can be enormous and you may sometimes feel overwhelmed with it. So it’s important to take care of yourself to ensure you are in the best possible position to help out your loved one.
In the first instance if you have other family and friends around who have offered help, don’t be shy to take them up on their offer. Don’t become a martyr and take all the responsibility yourself, it won’t help you or your cancer patient in the long run. Whatever the offer, whether it’s to cook you dinner or do your ironing, now is not a time to be proud.
If you don’t have any friends or family that can help out, contact a local caregiver support group. A doctor or cancer nurse should be able to tell you if there are any local groups available. There may be times when you really can’t get any help, so in that instance try and organise your time to ensure maximum efficiency. For example if you’re cooking a dinner, why not cook a big stew that can last you 2 or 3 days, it will take the pressure out of dinner time for you and free up some much needed time. Also look at the tasks you need to do and ask yourself if it’s absolutely essential that they’re done. It’s unrealistic to carry on as normal, so some things have to go. For example, cleaning your house – maybe cut down on some of the non-essential tasks for the time you are caring for your cancer patient.
Allow yourself some time off – although you may feel like this is a luxury, it’s actually essential for your well-being that you make it happen. Make sure you have something relaxing arranged which will take your mind off the situation, like a visit to the cinema. If you decide to go out for dinner with friends, make sure the topic of conversation doesn’t include cancer and care giving. Although, it’s also important that you do discuss the situation you find yourself in (just don’t do this on an allocated “me” time), so take advantage of that local support group or a friendly ear!
Making sure you are taking care of yourself physically, will also help you to get through this difficult time. If you are eating right and getting enough sleep, you will be physically strong enough to cope with the extra demands. Of course, sometimes sleep doesn’t come easily, as you’re probably lying awake thinking about the various tasks you have ahead of you or worrying about the test results of your loved one. There are various things you can do to try and get a better nights sleep, so look into it. There are lots of herbal remedies out there you can buy and think about the obvious things like cutting out caffeine in the evenings.
Keeping organized will help prevent additional and often unnecessary stress, for instance, from a missed appointment. There are lots of practical things you can do to ensure you are well organised. Start a file for your cancer patient and make sure you keep everything in there from appointment cards to useful contact telephone numbers. Get to know their doctors names and be involved in making the appointments. It’s essential to keep all your information together and organise your diary so you know where and when you have to be. Knowing what you’re doing from week to week will be a great help when it comes to organising yourself.
If you have children and are struggling with spending time with them, try and explain the situation to them. If possible try and give them a small amount of time each day which purely focuses on them. Ask friends to help out with childcare, explain the situation to them, you will more often than not find them very understanding and supportive.
You may be able to get some outside assistance, so it’s important to look into it. You may be able to get help with transportation or some home help. Ask around at the hospital, cancer nurses or doctors should be able to point you in the right direction.
If you have tried some of the suggestions above and are still finding it difficult to cope, you may be experiencing some kind of anxiety or depression symptoms. It’s important to look out for these and make sure they are dealt with. So if you find yourself unable to cope with your emotions, contact your doctor for a chat, they will be able to make some useful suggestions.